Fat Harry
by oosha66
Summary: Harry Potter becomes obese, and slim again, with the help of his friends. (Made for my friends)
1. Chapter 1: Just the Beginning

Chapter 1- Just the Beginning...  
  
Harry got up from the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, his stomach was filled to the brim of Hogwarts' yummy goodness. He turned to waddle towards the door, his best friend Ron Weasley, followed suit. "Man, I'm stuffed, I mean LITERALLY!" exclaimed Harry to Ron. "Me too, but man, we better stop overeating, mate!" Suddenly a LARGE group of girls flooded over to Harry and Ron chattering loudly. They were:  
  
Hermione Granger aka Mione – Gryffindor Lissa Maeron aka Lizard or Liss – Slytherin Adrienne Yim aka AJ, Ajes – Ravenclaw Selena Neale aka Lena, Foamy – Gryffindor Erin Fleming aka Phlegm, Phlem, Flemmon, or Flem – Gryffindor ME [lol] aka Oosha, – Gryffindor  
  
Harry and Ron moaned to their sprightly manner, covering their ears with one hand while the other one on their stomach. AJ had an extra serving of dessert, unfortunately, was being VERY hyper, and said loudly in Harry's ear, "Hey what's wrong Harry? You look like a breached whale!" Harry replied with a groan, and Ron managed a grunt substituting for his laughter since he was so full. Erin began doing her regular jumping up and down and annoyed Oosha who yelled, "Calm down, Phlegm!" Erin just replied, "Don't call me that!" and continued jumping. Oosha smirked and said, "Yeah whatever, that'll be the day when I ever listen to you..." Lissa began laughing in her exotic manner which consisted of her nose flaring, made Oosha laugh her head off, which caused Erin to hop around more which caused AJ to question what was so funny in a squeaky mousey hypery voice, which caused Lena to raise and eyebrow and just stare, and was planning to wait until they all calmed down. After about 8 more seconds Selena continued to stare with her eyebrow raised and yelled, "IF YOU ALL DON'T SHUT UP, I'LL LIGHT YOU ALL ON FIRE!!!" Everyone stopped their laughing and prattling at once, and looked at Lena, their turn to stare, Hermione even put her book down to stare at Lena. Lena stated, "Erin take some Prozac, you look anxious, Lissa cut down on the spiked lemonade, AJ, you cut down on the sugar, Oosha, keep on calling Erin Phlem, it amuses me, Mione, put the book away" Hermione, who had gone back to reading Hogwarts, A History raised her head out of the book and was like 'waaa???'  
  
Oosha just stared and said thoughtfully after a while, "Isn't it funny how we all have a whole reaction, and then Lena has to calm us down?" Everyone agreed, then turned their heads to see where Ron and Harry were, they had completely forgotten about them. They heard an odd muffling noise coming from behind them, down the corridor to the side of one of the knights in armor. They all cautiously walked towards the groans, curious to see what it was.  
  
There they found Ron and Harry doubled over one another, moaning and groaning. Erin gasped and said, "They don't look too well..." Mione looked over and said, "They should go to the Hospital Wing, Madam Pomphrey would be able to fix them up a potion that could make them feel better..." Erin bounced over to Ron and knelt down and began to poke him, Ron twitched slightly, "Ronnikins, are you alive?" Ron moaned and managed to say, "Don't call...me...that...ughhh" Oosha began to laugh in the background quietly, Mione shot her a look to shut up, Oosh shrugged and tried to control her laughter. AJ quietly walked over to Harry and said as calmly as she could, though she was extremely hyper, "Harry...do you think you could get up, or not?" Harry groaned and opened one eye and shook his head and closed his eye and went back to his moaning. Oosha couldn't help it, but commented, "They sound like Moaning Myrtle! Maybe they should pay a visit to her, they could all moan together in a chorus, they could be called the—" Oosh didn't get to finish because Mione had put the silencing charm on her. Lissa who was snickering soon stopped when Hermione raised her wand threateningly at her too. Oosha nudged Lissa to take the hex off her, Lissa muttered the counter-curse under her breath quietly so Mione wouldn't hear. She grinned in thanks.  
  
AJ got up and said, "Well, they won't be getting up anytime soon, I guess we'll have to take them to the Hospital Wing!" and with her wand, AJ conjured two stretchers and Hermione levitated them onto them. Oosha pulled out her wand, Unicorn Hair, Yew, 9 inches, and said, "I'll direct them to the Hospital Wing" Hermione looked and said, "Hey, but I put a silencing charm on you—" "Must've worn off" Oosha replied. "No, it takes about 15 minutes—" Oosha had put a silencing charm on Hermione, turned to Lissa and gave her a high five. Hermione glared at them both. Oosha said, "Okay well, where were we? Oh yes, I'll guide the stretchers to the Hospital Wing" she began to concentrate hard and levitated them and began guiding them while walking. They all walked together up the staircases, down the corridors, past the many moving paintings, until they reached the Wing.  
  
From there Madam Pomphrey took control and began making potions and antidotes for Ron and Harry. They could hear her muttering under her breathe, "Foolish teenagers, never know how to control their hunger, don't know how much to eat, but I always have to end up fixing them...Okay, they will be staying the night in the Hospital Wing and will be going to classes the next morning, you all go to your dorms, and get some sleep, witches your age are supposed to have at least—" Lena cut her off, so they wouldn't have to listen to her lecture, and said, "Right, yes...well thank you Madam Pomphrey, I guess we all should go to sleep now, yes we have a History of Magic exam, and we have to write an essay, and so yeah..." Madam Pomphrey stared at them all for a little while and then just began shaking her head disapprovingly and said, "Yes, well, get going, get going!" and shooed them out of the wing.  
  
"GOSH! That lady is so finicky sometimes!" said AJ, everyone agreeing with her. Hermione who took what Madam Pomphrey was about to say, very interesting said, "Selena, you shouldn't have cut her off, and also lie about that History of Magic Exam. What if she would've found out? I mean and also, the information she was going to tell us, sounded so interesting, that would've told us—" Oosha had to put another silencing charm on her and with her wand flashed, 'sod off'. "Well, I had to do something to make that old miser shut up!" Lena replied. Mione glared at them, and went back to her book, reading while walking. Oosha then decided to take advantage of the charm to make a comment and said, "Man, but did you see how Harry and Ron were? No offence AJ, but Harry looked pregnant!" AJ began to laugh and said, "No offence taken!" They all went to their respective dorms.  
  
The Gryffindor girls' all shared the same room- Erin, Mione, Lena, and Oosha, they would have fun every weekend, together though sometimes got on each other's nerves, Oosha had threatened 'Phlegm' that she would get Lissa and together they would throw her out of the window from Gryffindor Tower. Tonight they all entered their rooms got changed, and went to sleep, but with the exception of Oosha, who had to say her night prayer, Isha, then went into her 4-poster and fell sound asleep.  
  
"OOSHA!! GET UP!!!" Hermione screeched for the 50th time, Oosha responded by kicking her away and groaning, "shut up!!" Lena had gotten up and went into the bathroom before anyone else could. Erin sat up in bed, as her usual perky self, and said, "What's wrong, Mione?" Mione growled, "Stupid Oosha-head won't get up!" Oosha moaned, "Where's my wand? So I can put a fricken silencing charm on you!" and began groping her nightstand with her hand with her eyes still closed. Not finding it, she gave up. Erin jumped out of bed and said, "Maybe I can try!" and walked over to Oosha's 4-poster and was about to touch Oosha to shake her awake, when Oosha opened one eye and said in a threatening voice, "Touch me, and you die, Phlegm!" Erin was a little startled but said, "Yup, I got her up!" and bounced away. Oosha growled menacingly at Erin, and said, "Shut up Erin, or I will personally kill you, I'm not the same Oosha in the morning, don't mess with me, my sister can tell you" Erin pursed her lips and said in a small voice, "Okay, okay, I'll stop" Oosha walked to the door of the bathroom to find it locked, the knocked and Selena came out, wearing her school robes and had a towel in her hair, she said, "Bathroom's all yours" Oosha nodded.  
  
Lena stepped to the dresser and took out her wand, and magically dried her long, red hair and began braiding it in a fast manner. She took out her eyeliner, as all the girls did, and lined her eyes slightly, not making it too obvious; she took out some reddish tinted gloss and glazed her lips. Erin hopped over and took out hers, but she'd always get it above the top of her lip, looking like she had just had a red popsicle and ate it in a messy way. She then took some clear mascara and brushed her eyelashes with a coat. Mione had already gone down, to breakfast.  
  
In the Ravenclaw dorms, AJ was being shaken awake by a Ravenclaw 5th year, Luna Lovegood, AJ held up one hand, with all five fingers outstretched, saying 'five more minutes!!!' in Luna's face. Luna was looking dazed as usual said, "Okay...." and left to go into the bathroom. Ten minutes later she emerged from the door, and saw AJ still sleeping, "AJ! GET UP!!" AJ sat up in bed and was like, 'who, what, how??' Luna exclaimed, which was a bit odd, because she was always dazed, "You're gonna miss breakfast!!" AJ hopped out of bed and ran into the bathroom; arms outstretched before her, and yelled, "MUST HAVE CAFFEINE!!! CHEESE!!" Luna started giggling, back to her dazed self, and put her wand behind her ear, took her issue of The Quibbler, and walked down to breakfast.  
  
In the Slytherin dorm, Lissa was snoring away. Suddenly a snowy white owl came in and started hooting, and nipping at Lissa, to wake up. Lissa grumbled and waved her hand and said in a sleepy voice, "Ya, ya, Draco I know, I love you too, five more minutes..." The owl rolled it's eyes, and waited a minute then began screeching like crazy in Lissa's ear. Lissa sat up and in reflexes smacked the owl. Luckily, Hedwig had seen it coming and dodged it, but got a bit of the smack. Lissa covered her mouth, and said, "AH!! I'm soo sorry Hedwig!! ARRGH!! You scared me! What happens if it was a molester or something?!" Hedwig gave a mad, but dignified hoot, fixed her ruffled feathers, and flew out. Lissa hopped out of bed, and ran into the bathroom.  
  
When they were all at breakfast, sitting at their correct tables, Oosha, Lena, Phlem, and Mione began talking. "Ya, that would be cool if you started a band!" exclaimed Oosha, who didn't eat anything as usual, because she never had an appetite in the morning. Mione looked up from, a book in her lap, while Phlem craned her neck over to read the page, of Hogwarts, A History, and said, "Well, I think you should think of a different more useful future." Lena looked over, and dangerously raised an eyebrow. Oosha said, "Dude, she plays the electric guitar...sod off, AHHAHAHAHHA, I love saying that..." Hermione looked up and gave an exasperated sigh while rolling her eyes, and began reading again, and nibbling on her toast.  
  
Ron and Harry came down and sat down and began to fill their plates up with all the foods on the table. Harry exclaimed, "I'm so hungry!! Argh, I'm famished!" Ron laughed and said, "Well I learnt my lesson from last night's dinner, I've vowed never to over-eat again!" Phlem scooted close to Ron, and said, "I'm so glad Ronnikins, because, I could never stand see you in so much pain again." Ron grinned, mouth full. Oosha, Lena, and Mione, all rolled their eyes and gave looks that said 'how corny', Harry was too into eating all his food, and kept on refilling his plate. Oosha raised an eyebrow, hearing Harry making noises while devouring all his food, and said, "Ahem, umm...Harry you really umm... should give yourself a break" Lena nodded her head while her eyebrow was also raised, and said, "Yaaaaa, umm, you didn't really seem to well, yesterday night, and I swear Madam Pomphrey will poison you, instead of curing you, if we have to take you back..." Phlem, too busy with Ron, and getting all mushy, didn't notice Harry scarfing down plates and plates of food. Oosha just pulled the plate out of Harry's way, Harry exclaimed when his platter of life was taken away from him. "Hey!!" Harry managed to say with his mouth filled to the brim, "I'm still hungry!!" They all gave him skeptical looks. Harry just said, "Whaa??" Mione just got up and said, "C'mon, it's time for class anyways..."  
  
After breakfast, they had History of Magic with the Slytherins. Lena exclaimed, "Yay! Lissa's gonna be with us!" Phlem nodded, clasped onto Ron's arm, the whole way, like she was super glued to him. "I swear she looks like she's gonna start drooling on him..." commented Lena. Oosha looked at Erin and Ron and said, "I think she already did, Mate..."  
  
They then found Lissa with her Malfoy guy, their arms hooked. The gang of girls approached Lissa, and said their Hello's. When the girls turned to Draco, they all gave him queer looks, and giggled a little. Oosha coughed out in between, "cough cough "Ehhemm...marked..uuhh" cough cough...AJ had joined them and began to burst out laughing hysterically, hanging onto Lizard's arm for dear life. Lissa looked up at the ceiling; AJ still attached to her, and began muttering in Spanish, in between laughs. Malfoy just raised an eyebrow questioningly at them all and turned towards Ron and Harry, Ron just muttered, "Girls...I don't understand them..." Draco smiled and said, "True, but they understand us...well...maybe, not youuuu....." Ron shot a death glare at Malfoy, he still, of course, detested him, that was just something that could never be obliterated.  
  
Harry, laughing, stuck a hand in his robes pocket, and pulled out a chocolate frog, and began to devour it. Ron saw them and said, "OY! HARRY! I want one!" at the instant of hearing that, Oosha turned her head and saw Harry stuffing the legs of the struggling frog into his mouth, and exclaimed, "AHH!!! CHOCOLATE!! Cough it up, Harry! C'mon PLEAASSSEE!!! I'll trade you one of my Sugar Quills for one of your chocolate frogs. Harry pondered for the moment thinking, 'Hmm...chocolate compared to real sugar...the quills last longer though...' "Alright it's a deal." Harry grabbed the quill from Oosha's outstretched hand, eager to get it as soon as possible, and began to lick it like a lollipop. Oosha began to tap her foot impatiently and said, "HARRY!! Give me the chocolate!" Harry was like, "Waa?? Oh yeah", and stuck the frog into her hand.  
  
"SCORE!" exclaimed Oosha, who began to bite off the frog's head. "You decapitated the poor frog!" said AJ, sadly. Lissa began prancing around, laughing. Lena, who was unusually hyper, which was extremely fun, pulled out a sharpie from her bag, and began to chase Flem around. Erin ran behind Ron, who was still trying to get a chocolate frog out of Harry. AJ turned her attention from the dissembled frog to Lena and Phlegm's display, and began to chortle insanely. Oosha grabbed the back of Lissa's robes and said, "Come Patsy! We must go on a quest, and seek the Phlegm, and help Lena draw a mustache on her!" Lissa began to make the horse hooves sounds, while Oosha 'rode her'. [eww....sounds kinda wrong...errr...] When they cornered Phlegm, Lena had an insane smile spread across her face, her eyes, manic, the sharpie uncapped. She took one whiff of it, and her eyebrows rose higher. She began to laugh evilly. Oosha and Lissa now held her pinned to the wall, and Lena took the dignity to draw an extremely elegant mustache, with some advises from Oosha and Lissa. She colored her whole area above her upper lip, like an Einstein mustache, and then in honor for Oosha, drew a nice, big, round mole. "Remember, before we were accepted to Hogwarts, we all went to that gay, muggle school? And you did a math project over Einstein, Phlegm? Well, now you can really look like him..." said Lena ecstatically. Erin had given up struggling out of Oosha and Lissa's grasp. They all looked at Erin, who was very tired from trying to scream at them to let her go, just raised an eyebrow dazed, partially because she could smell the sharpie, since it was right under her nose. "I think we're missing something...Einstein didn't have straight, blond hair...more like looking like he was electrocuted, kinda frizzy..." Oosha commented, and smiled while she pulled out her wand, and flicked it at Erin, who's hair went insane.  
  
Now the whole 'Dream Team' was watching. AJ now was hanging onto Harry's arm, who for a minute, abandoned his sweets. Draco was laughing on the floor with Ron. Finally, when they let Erin go, Lissa transformed a piece of Phlem's now wire-y hair into a mirror. Phlem took one look and began to laugh slightly. She looked at her Ickle Ronnie, and saw him laughing. She stood up and towered over his laughing body, and yelled, "RONALD WEASLY, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE LAUGHING AT ME, THIS PROVES HOW CONSIDERATE YOU ARE, WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? EHMM, I THINK HE NEEDS A TOTAL MAKE-OVER, HOW BOUT IT GIRLS?" The girls all cheered, and agreed, Erin, Lissa, Oosha, AJ, Lena, and Mione, began discussing what would be good. "I think..hmm...maybe Abraham Lincoln?" said Erin. "No, he has red hair, it should be someone like that..." AJ commented. "What ? AHAHAHHAHA he can have long, straight, curled in at the ends, hair!!" Lena and Lissa's faces lit up and said, "OMG!! YESS!! AHAHAHA" "Wait...no...omg...I think we should do....SNAPE!!" Oosha suggested. The girls all screamed, in high pitched voices and turned innocently towards Ron, Sitting up on the ground, perched with his arms behind him.  
  
The girls formed a close circle around him. Erin came face to face with him, and said, "I think you're gonna like this, My Ickle Ronnie..." and gave him a peck on the cheek. [Nothing more, I would go mentally insane, picturing Phlegm doing anymore than just that...shudders lol] Ron, panicking, looked around at the girls' evil smiling faces. Erin pulled out her wand, and turned Ron's hair jet black, greasy, and a bit long. Mione pulled out a small potion kit, mixed a few ingredients together quickly and said, "Drink up, Ron!" Forcibly, Ron gulped it down; his face turned a sickly and pallid, but remained with his bright freckles.  
  
Draco had his chin resting on Lissa's shoulder from behind, and began laughing madly when he saw what they were coming to, his head fell and tilted, resting on Lissa's, while she held Ron down. [Erggh...Lizard, you better be happy now...MYAAAA!!! Okay I'm done...] "Now, the final adjustment, and we all know what that is, don't we?" said Lena. "I GET HONORS!!" called Oosha. She took her wand, quietly muttered a transfiguration spell, and Ron's nose, totally morphed, like an eagle type, hooked beak. "Wow, Ron, you look arrow dynamic!" commented AJ, impressed.  
  
Lizard picked up the mirror, and, Erin covered Ron's eyes, and said, "Ready??" Ron made a very hesitant noise. And Phelm said, "LOOK!" and unshielded his eyes, Ron gazed into the mirror, speechless, and finally said, "I....I...I look so...so...hott!" He jumped up, and said, "HARRY LOOK AT ME? I'm BLEEDIN GORGEOUS!!" He began a 'Snape Happy Dance' while everyone stared at him. Erin began to fiddle with her Einstein hair, and said, "I just don't get it..." Lena looked and said, "I don't either..." Oosha said, "I think he's on something..." AJ commented, "Cheese?" "No, something else..." said Lissa. "CRACK" they said together. Ron still dancing went in circles around Draco, and began to annoy him. "Stop it, Weasley, NOW!" Draco hissed venomously at 'Sevvy-Ron'. "WHY? CUZ I'm HOTT AND YOU'RE NOT?? LALALA" sang Ron.  
  
Draco warned Ron, "If you don't stop I will do something, unforgivable..." "Nothing can stop me!!! lalalala" "That's it, you asked for it..." replied Draco, and immediately grabbed Ron's trousers, and pantzed him. Harry's eyes bulged out, the girls shrieked with laughter, and Draco covered his eyes, as if they were burning, Ron was screaming like a girl, trying his hardest to pull his pants back up. "AHAHHA, wow Ron, what a lovely shade of plaid!" exclaimed Oosha. "Yeah, you look like a Scottie Dog!" laughed AJ. Erin, stared at Ron, and was commented, "Hmmm...boxers, good choice! I've always been wondering if you wore, boxers or—" Lena instantly cut Erin off, and said, "RON, CRACK KILLS... [lol get it? U know, well Erin probably dusnt, butt...u know? AHH, okay must I say more?] pull your boxers up! AHHH!!! MI EYES!!! AHHH!!" Oosha began to do the same, and yelled, "AHH! VIRGIN EYES!! VIRGIN EYES!!" [LOLOL] "WOAH!! I saw a FULL moon tonight!" Lissa gaped. "I bet if Professor Lupin saw, he'd probably transfigure..." commented a very disturbed Mione.  
  
They all went to their classes, and began to take their seats, all together, after saying good-bye to AJ. They sat in rows, 1st row- Draco, Lissa, Lena, Oosha 2nd row- Phlem, Ron, Harry, Mione.  
  
Class was boring as usual, they just passed notes, and talked, except for Mione, who wrote down all the notes, Oosha had forced Lena to draw her a dancing monkey with maracas on her planner. Lissa and Draco were poking each other and giggling like idiots. Phlegm was very interested in the back of Draco's head. 'I wonder how he gets it like that...how much gel...is it hard?' Phlegm's curiosity didn't end there, she even had the dignity to reach out and feel it. Ron smacked Erin's wandering hand and gave her the look and whispered, "Bloody Hell! You'll get cooties! Wash your hands immediately after class! Eww, don't touch me!"  
  
Draco turned around and said, "Did someone touch my hair? Phlegm, was it YOU? AHH!! I HAVE TO WASH MY HAIR ESPECIALLY GOOD TONIGHT! I have PHLEGM in it!" Lissa turned around and shot a glare at Flem and said, "Don't touch mi Draggie's hair, that's only my privilege!" and with that Lizard stroked his hair and Oosha sniggered, Lena had an indescribable look on her face. [Therefore I cannot describe it, use your imagination c'mon peeps how do u think Lena would react? lol love ya Lena!]  
  
Harry was still sucking on the sugar quill, he was almost done with it. Ron was trying to pick-pocket Harry's chocolate frogs. "Sod off, Ron! I Need my nourishment!" "Man, Harry, you've been eating wayyy too much, way too many sweets! You NEED TO TAKE A BREAK!" Ron replied in a hoarse whisper. They were now tugging on a chocolate frog between themselves. "Mr. Snape, Mr. Potter! Do Not disturb my class! 5 points from Gryffindor and Slytherin! Now where was I? I was talking a bout the Goblin Wars, wasn't I? Oh Well, I've lost my train of thought now! Well, this means I must start from the beginning! Well, It started in 200 BC...." The whole class groaned and shot death glares at Ron and Harry. "Good job, you manky gits!" Oosha glared at Ron and Harry. Lena shot her flicker finger out at them. "OY!" shouted Ron. "Mr. Snape!" a wheezy voice interrupted them. "5 points from Slytherin, If you do not stop interrupting, I will kick you out of my class! Now where was I? I suppose I will start from the beginning, So in 200 BC, the goblins were enslaved by wizards..." Professor Binns droned on. Lena shot an evil smile at Ron, while he grumbled to himself. 'It wasn't my fault...old...big girl's blouse...stupid...fart...' is all they could make out from his mumbling. Draco began to snicker, Lissa smacked his belly. "Oh!" Draco exclaimed when he felt the smack, thankfully, the wheezy professor was coughing his butt, well ghostly tail, off. Lissa raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips in fright that the teacher might of heard and start his lecture from the beginning. Thankfully, of course, he didn't. Some of the Slytherins began to whisper to each other confusedly, why he had deducted points from Slytherin, and said Snape, until they looked towards Ron with wide eyes. Lissa and Draco were actually probably one of the few Slytherins that got a kick out of it. Harry wasn't paying attention and had managed to yank the chocolate frog from Ron, and began to devour it.  
  
The school day remained as long as it always did, and was filled with new born inside jokes, and Harry's chocolate frog wrappers. Soon, it was time for bed, and they all went to sleep.  
  
[A/N: there was a very dull ending due to Lissa's anticipation, and impatientness- not that, that is even a word, but WHO REALLY CARES, pelt Lizard with small rocks, if you are disappointed. Thank you! Oosha! Lolololol] 


	2. Chapter 2: Christmas is nearing, Harry i...

Chapter 2- Christmas is nearing, Harry, is getting fatter...hmm....  
  
The girls and boys continued their daily lifestyles, Harry began to become plumper then what was natural. Christmas time began blooming and everyone was in a frenzy of buying presents and decorating.  
  
But for a certain group of friends, it was a regular day. "SUGAR CHEESE CAFFEINE! SUGAR CHEESE CAFFEINE! SUGAR CHEESE CAFFEINE!!" AJ chorused while jumping up and down at the same time. Lena began laughing and put a hand on one of her shoulders and said, "Okay, AJ let's start from the beginning." Oosha put her hand on AJ's other shoulder and said firmly, "Who gave you the sugar?" AJ sprang up and said, "THE STINKY CHEESE MAN!"  
  
Lizard commented, a bit frustrated, "Who the bloody hell is the 'stinky cheese man'?" The girls all thought hard together, with the exception of Adrienne who was jumping and prancing around them.  
  
At once they all exclaimed, "HARRY!" at that moment a chubby kid, with messy black hair and startling green eyes, turned around and said with a stuffed mouth, "Whhaaa?"  
  
"It makes sense! Harry is all sugar stocked and obviously he gave some to AJ, cuz they're together!" Erin said in a 'matter of fact' voice. They all looked at her surprised, thinking, how she understood something so easily and respond to their astonished faces, "I'm not that stupid you know." The girls all raised knowing eyebrows at each other and just giggled.  
  
AJ still jumping said, "ME AND THE STINKY CHEESE MAN SHARED A SUGAR QUILL!" Lena exclaimed, "Bloody! HE SHARED one with YOU?" AJ nodded earnestly and sprang to the left, and then to the right, and then back to the left.  
  
Draco walked up to the girls and put an arm around Lena, and said, "Hey hot stuff!" Selena, at that instant, 'Karate chopped' Draco's hand and said in a very loud, mad, irate voice, "I'M NOT BLOODY LISSA!" Draco was cradling his "injured" hand and smirked when he realized. "Whoops, I'm sorry, Lena" Selena furrowed her eye brows together and said, "Shut up, go to Lissa, you scarred me." Erin chimed up, "Well, he scarred you, but marked her." Pointing to Lissa. Everyone thrusted their hands to shut Erin up, and Draco raised an eyebrow confused and said, "What?" Lissa grabbed his arm and pulled him next to her and said, "Nothing, Dragon Dearest" The girls began to gag at the corny nick name.  
  
Draco chortled and said, "Of course!" Lissa continued cooing to him in a sweet voice, "And if you ever make a mistake like that again, I personally will beat your arse!" Draco smiled and then stopped when he heard her and smirked and said, "Alright!" Lissa smiled and said, "Good Draco!" and began to pet his hair, her favorite part about Draco. [A/N: infront of her friends only, God knows what she REALLY likes most, but she shows that in the dungeon... ERRRLLACCK!!!! AHHHH!!! ERRGHHH!! NASTY MENTAL IMAGES!! AHHHH!!! Lololol]  
  
The girls were all bored of just standing around and AJ jumping in circles, they began thinking of what to give to each other. Oosha, who didn't celebrate Christmas, was giving presents to her friends anyways, because she loves them oh soooo much! [A/N: AHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA yes I do love you all so very much! I'm not talking to u Flem...AHAHHAHAHAHHA Hokay soo.... On with the story]  
  
Today was the last day of classes before Christmas/Winter vacation began. Harry was ecstatic about expecting how many more sweets he'd get as presents from his friends. The girls had all concluded that Harry was just trying to fatten up, because the Dursley's starved him all summer, or he's depressed, or his whole mouth was a sweet tooth.  
  
As the days had gone on, there was a queer young, hyper girl, that just appeared everywhere they went, every corner they turned... there she was. She had brown shoulder length hair, braces, and a very loud personality. Finally, the girls decided to become acquainted.  
  
"HI MY NAME IS LAUREN BRADLEY! BUT YOU CAN CALL ME BRAD!" she exclaimed. "HI BRAD!!!" they all chorused together. After that she automatically became part of their 'clique'. She was in Slytherin with Lissa. [A/N: LISSA MORENO!!! YOU KEEP URE WANDERING EYES OFF MI SCREEN!!!! I WILL FLOGG U!!!! okay thank you... on with the story..]  
  
"I shall call you B-rad, B-razz, and in special occasions....DidyouknowGeorge, and you may call me Oosha." Oosha said to Brad. "You may call me Lissa, Lizard, or Liss, and I shall call you Brad." Lissa said to Brad. "You can call me by the nicknames Lena or Foamy the Squirrel, and I shall call you Brad." Selena told Bradley. "Call me Erin, but call me Flem, if you want, it seems all of them do." Erin told Brad. "CALL ME AJ!!!!!!" Adrienne screamed while jumping around Brad. Brad exclaimed, "OKIE!!!!!" and began jumping with AJ.  
  
"Wow, they will make a pair!" Lissa exclaimed. "This is going to be bloody scary..." Lena said with a smile.  
  
When they went to class, it was the same old, same old seating, but with Brad included. In class they didn't do much, because it was the last day. In History of Magic, they all took a nap, in Charms, they got to play with different charms they had learnt, in Transfiguration McGonagall persisted that they do some last minute learning- very boring..., in Potions, they were assigned work to do...errr e-vile Snapey. Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures they just talked.  
  
"FINALLY!!!" Ron exclaimed, loosening his tie. Harry mumbled in agreement, buisily trying to open a tricky ice mice packet. By now, Harry had developed quite a double chin. He had decreased in his number of fan girls greatly. "HARRRYYY!!!!" AJ hollered. "YEBBESS???" Harry replied, his chin getting in the way of speaking correctly as he still looked down fiddling with his wrapper. "Can you give me an ice mice? Or shall I say mouse?" Harry hesitated for a moment about giving up his precious sweets then decided to use some sort of psychological thingy. "You know it makes your teeth chatter a squeak for hours?" Harry replied.  
  
Draco had caught on to what Harry was trying to do, and said, "No problem, Adrienne is like that all the time, I don't think it would make a big difference, Potter." He said coolly. AJ nodded earnestly, the girls began to giggle as they saw the remorseful look on Harry's pleasantly plump face. "Anyways Harry, your getting a bit chubby, soon I'll have to call you Chubbs. You should share the wealth, anyhow" AJ said while nodding her head in an adult like manner. At that moment hearing he was chubby, he looked up suddenly with a very sad puppy face on. It looked very odd since he had such a large part of flab under his chin, he looked sort of like a baby...but very...erm...fat.  
  
AJ started laughing her head off, and slung an arm around Harry's shoulder to keep from falling and while doing so stuck her hand onto Harry's ice mice packet and pulled out one and stuffed it into her mouth.  
  
"Hey does it run in the fami— never mind..." Lissa was about to say. Brad turned around suddenly, her back had been towards Harry. She smelt the smell of a new packet of fresh candy being opened when she saw the wrapper in Harry's hand, she jumped up and dove through the air for his hand.  
  
Everyone saw it in slowmo- AJ chewing her candy, Harry slowly about to stick his hand in, Brad jumping up while yelling ARRRGGGHHH very slowly, and Harry's high pitch scream, "TOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!"  
  
But to late, Brad had Harry pinned to the floor, squirming around trying to get up, like a turtle on its back. Brad grabbed the pack of ice mice and pulled out a handful of the little candies and stuffed them into her mouth.  
  
Draco was leaning hard on Lissa, chances of falling were large. He was laughing so hard, "AHH! You SHULDA—EHHEHEH—POTTER YOUR FAT FACE!! WAS LIKE! OH!!—THAT WAS RICH!!"  
  
The girls luckily hung onto one another while laughing. They were all standing outside the Great Hall. Ron had collapsed onto Flem, who couldn't hold his weight, who collapsed on to Lena, who was going to be crushed who fell onto Oosha, who had a horrible sense of balance when being pushed down by 3 people, fell on the floor. It was a bit like the domino effect.  
  
"ERIN!! GET URE BLOODY ARSE OFF ME RIGHT NOW!!!" Selena screamed while slapping her repeatedly one after the other on her arm. "RONNIKINS, AS MUCH AS- UGGH- I WANT TO STAY LIKE THIS—OWW!! I THINK YOU REALLY HAVE TO GET UP!!!" Erin managed to say over his laughter. By now Brad had fully swallowed her hostaged [a/n: hehehe I made a new word!] candy and Harry had collected himself.  
  
AJ, now, said very sternly to Harry while grabbing his ear, and pulling his head down to her level, "Harry James Potter, tell me EXACTLY who this 'Tom' you yelled out for? Instead of me?" Harry blushed a crimson red, and replied, "Oh umm.. some dude I knew...he..umm..doesnt really exist now...umm...he's my diary cough..." AJ paused for a moment with no expression whatsoever on her face, and began giggling, "Harry, you never told me you had a diary?! AHAHA aww, you're so cute and chubby! Aww, and you write to some 'Tom'? AHHAHA Well, at least it isn't a girl!" Harry blushed and said, "Umm yaa...hehehe."  
  
AJ smiled widely with her teeth showing and eyes closed, you could see her teeth squeaking and chattering due to the ice mice candy she had just consumed.  
  
"Potter, you have a diary?" Draco who had recovered started to laugh again, tears began welling up in his eyes. Ron had an astonished look on his face and said, "Harry...you have a diary? Why didn't you ever tell us?" Ron had a bit of an alarmed, cautious tone. "Ummm...well..umm...its...ITS PRIVATE FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!" Draco let out a howl of laughter and started rolling on the floor clutching his hand to his stomach while pounding the floor with the other. "GOSH POTTER! YOU'RE MORE GIRLY THAN I THOUGHT!!" Harry blushed even more. Hermione spoke up now.  
  
"Well I don't think it's a bad thing for Harry to have someone, or a diary, to spill his secrets now to, I think, emotionally, it is extremely healthy for him, on account that he has to stay with the Dursley's every summer."  
  
Hermione was about to continue, but Lena had put a hand on her shoulder, and shook her head, saying 'no'. Hermione let out an exasperated sigh, and said with a pout, "Fine!" to Lena. Lena nodded her head and said, "Thank You." in an over dramatic adult voice.  
  
The day continued and ended with the girls crashing the Gryffindor girl's dorm room. They were having a pillow fight. All of the girls were there, Lissa, Brad, and AJ, even though they weren't in Gryffindor. They were bursting pillows EVERYWHERE!! "OOOHHH!!!!" AJ, Oosha, and B-razz yelled, when Lissa slammed a pillow on Lena's head.  
  
Lena paused and dropped her pillow, looked up fast, let out a Japanese Bruce Lee scream and pounced in the air, Lissa had an expression of shock on her face and saw Lena in slow-mo like she saw Brad, when she realized what was going to happen to her, she was about to move, but was too late. Lena had landed and was slapping and clawing at Lizard.  
  
Lissa was laughing because Lena's nails had found her sensitive spot, that she knew of, and began to make Lissa's nose flare from laughter. "AHH!!! LENA STOP!!! AHAHHAHAHHAHA" Finally, when Lissa began to turn blue, Lena stopped, stood up and brushed her PJ pants off, and dusted her hands, and walked to her pillow, grabbed it, and gave one final whack to Lizard.  
  
"Wow, I didn't know you could do Bruce Lee noises" said Oosha amazed at Selena's hidden talent. The other girls nodded in agreement. "Duuuuuddddeee...." They all said. Lena laughed and said, "Okay y'all, listen, it only comes when I'm motivated, so don't expect that I'll do it often." The girls nodded and said, "Okay..." still in mesmerized voices.  
  
"I gotta go to the loo." Oosha said, while walking towards the open door leading to the restroom. When she turned the lights on and locked the door, she let out a yell, "WHY THE HELL IS THE TOILET WATER BLUE!?! IT'S LIKE SMURF COLORED!!" The girls collapsed on heaps of feathers on the ground laughing. Oosha slammed the door opened with a look of utter scorn painted on her face. "Alright which one of you smurfs pissed blue?" she said in an angry voice and added, "And didn't flush the crapper?" [A/N: that's what I call the toilet incase y'all were wondering].  
  
The girls propped themselves up on their elbows and said, "The toilet WATER is blue, you dork!" Oosha suddenly had a quizzical look on her face and said plainly, "Wha?"  
  
Then, Flem resided her giggling, sighed and said, "The house elves have began to use a new way of cleaning the "crapper", they use blue anti- defectants." "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! THERE IS MELTED SMURF IN THE JOHN!" Oosha yelled. Lissa began laughing all over again. AJ exasperated said, "ITS CLEANING SUPPLY, LIKE WINDEX!"  
  
Suddenly a look of relief came on Oosha's face and said, "Oh!! So that means it's clean? Well I'm gonna leave a note to the house elves to leave us the bluest of blue toilet water in Hogwarts castle, bluer than the sky, bluer than the Ravenclaw house color, bluer than—" she was cut off by Lena. "OKAY WE GOT THE PICTURE OOSH! NOW GO USE THE FRICKEN LOOEY AND GET BACK!" "Hey you know what Windex reminds me of? My Big Fat Greek Wedding, when the dad was like, 'Use Windex!' AHHAHAHAH—" "JUST GOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
Oosha nodded comically and began galloping while clopping her hands together in horse hooves sounds hitting pavement, towards the bathroom.  
  
Minutes later she walked out and said, "So what'd I miss?" Lissa got up and began dancing around like a loon and said, "We're having a SLUMBER PARTAY!" Oosha threw her hands up in wild excitement and began dancing crazily in circles also. Soon everyone caught it and was going in a whirl.  
  
The girls finally settled down and continued their slumber party.  
  
Epilouge of the Chapter:  
  
The girls got out of hand and galloped to go get food, and obviously went to the Hogwarts kitchens, but were caught by Mrs. Norris, which eventually led them to getting caught by Filch. The girls of course had to serve a week of detention when they got back from vacation, polishing the trophies in the trophy room. "Hey Lissa?" Oosh asked. "Hmm?..." Lissa responded. "What happens if you screwdriver Filch? Maybe we can get let off!" The girls all began suppressing the urge of puking. "Howwwaaa bouutttt....NO!!" Lissa yelled the last bit in Oosh's ear. "OWW!!" Oosha yelled, "THAT HURT!" and she sacked Lissa at the back of her head. "Meh!" and the story continues.... In CHAPTER 3!!! Dun dun dun. Christmas approaches ever so closely.  
  
[A/N: yeh well I needed to finish up this chappie for u all! I wanted to give u peeps summin, and Lissa, the alarm clock will be in Chappie 3! It all fits, I have it put together, don't SAY A WORD TO NE1 WHAT THE PLAN IZ!!! Okay little boogars who all OH so love mi fic! I hope you love it!! I had fun writing it, and if u didn't notice, which is real daft of u if u didn't, that I incorporated times we had at our depressing, gay, muggle skool! ENJOY!! Luv ya'll! BYEZ FER NOW!! Oosha] 


	3. Chapter 3: Christmas Time has approached...

Chapter 3- Christmas Time has approached and the friends are waking up  
  
"WAKE UP!!! YOU SQUIRMING WORM OF VOMIT!!!" screamed Pansy Parkinson to Lissa Maeron. At that moment, our brown haired friend jumped up out of her covers and kicked Pansy in the stomach. Pansy, of course, cussed out Lissa for doing that and said, "I just thought you wanted to open your presents..." and walked away. Analissa plopped on her bed, and said, "I'm sorry Pansy... I didn't think you were so nic—I mean thoughtful." "Yeh, well, thanks for starting out my Christmas morning by kicking me in the stomach, I just wanted to do something nice for you, instead of giving you something...filthy mudblood" she said the last part under her breath. Liss thought sarcastically in her head 'yeh well, thanks for calling me a 'squirming worm of vomit' and then a mudblood, but I don't think I will start out Christmas by screaming at her, so I'll just let it pass.' "Okay, thanks Pansy, Merry X-mas." And with that Lissa got up and went for the end of her bed were the presents were and gathered them up and ran for Gryffindor girl's dorm room, where they planned to open their presents.  
  
When Lissa barged in, she saw that everyone was up there, they even managed to get the boys in there as well. "How the heck did you get them in here!" she said skeptically pointing at Ron, Harry, and Draco. "Through the window on broomsticks of course!" Lena said pointing to the three broomsticks leaning in a corner of the room. "C'mon people! Let's open our presents!!" squealed Phlegm as she dived towards her trunk and gathered her gifts. She was walking towards the group when she tripped and fell over her own feet. "Uggh...ERIN!" moaned Hermione. "I meant to do that!" Flem noted as she gathered up her fallen packages. The first sets of gifts were from their families. Harry was sent the yearly basket of food and goodies from Ron's mom. He had already started to devour the fudge pieces. After the friends pulled Mrs. Weasley's gift from Harry, he managed to open his other presents. The Dursleys had sent him a card and a bobby pin. "Hmm... this could come in handy" Oosha mused over the pin. "You can have it" Harry said. "Thanks!" Oosh stashed the pin in her pocket. The teens opened more presents.  
  
"GUYS!! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE!!" Oosha yelled as she held a silver identification bracelet with the engraved name of "Bob the Hobo" in her hands. "ITS BEAUTIFUL!!" she pretended to be crying and gave everyone a hug. "We thought you needed it, incase you like forgot your name, haha" AJ said. They all continued opening presents. Draco was given a shrine of Lissa, put together by the girls, Oosh managed to stick on the pic of Lissa's bogies. Draco laughed and took the shrine, "Ha, I love it!" The girls laughed and Lena said, "We had quite fun with it, eheheheh" and the girls started laughing, they had had a fun time, "HAHA it was like when we did the Romeo and Juliet Project at our muggle school" Lissa laughed, her nose began fluttering like it always did.  
  
Draco HAD to give Harry something so he handed a lumpy present over, "Here ya go, your going to need them, the rate your going." Harry began opening the present. Draco snorted with a smirk as Harry pulled out the present. He held huge black robes in his hands. "They're Goyle's, his mum made some, they're extras, and when I saw the size of them I thought of you." Draco said. Harry put them on; they had fit him like a glove. "Thanks Draco!" Draco rolled his eyes and said, "Anytime" Ron had handed over a hard [A/N: yes, it does sound wrong o.0] present. When Harry opened it, a book fell into his hands. "What's this?" Harry said as he flipped the pages with his fat fingers. "It's a diary, mate. I thought you might want a new one." Ron said, his cheeks blazing from embarrassment for Harry. Harry stared at it, thinking of Tom, and said, "Thanks, mate!" Ron smiled uneasily and said, "No problem, what are friends for?" AJ squirmed next to Harry and handed him a present, from her. "Here Harry!" Harry opened it and held up a book. It was a book for counseling obese people and help getting them thinner by body, mind, and spirit. AJ smiled big and said, "You're getting too fat, Harry, we have to draw the line somewhere! We can do this together!" she said enthusiastically. Harry gave her a hesitant smile and said, "Sure..."  
  
Screwing present time, and all that lovey dovey crap, the girls and boys decided to go out and have a snowball fight...on broomsticks. Lissa of course wanted to "spend time" with Draco, but majority ruled, excluding Harry who was eating...as usual. He had eaten so much. Hermione had gotten him 5 huge bundles of Sugar Quills, with their pure sugary insides, it was BOUND to kill Harry. The girls had been befuddled by this unwise gesture done by Hermione of all people.  
  
While the guys left to get their brooms, the girls attacked Hermione with questions. "Why did you give that to him!?!?" "It's gonna KILL him!!" "Where you on something!??!" Hermione sighed and put her book down. "Listen, Those aren't regular Sugar Quills, I remade the liquid used inside, and substituted a potion that tastes sweet, but it will actually help his weight problem." AJ, who had been reading up on the book she bought Harry, looked up with a frown and waved the book around in the air. "What about my counseling book?" she said. The girls giggled and said, "That's going to come in handy! You can act as if doing the things the book says is slimming Harry down, but really the quills are, so Harry doesn't get what's happening!" Hermione nodded. "Brilliant thinking, mate!" Oosh said patting her on the back. They all promised to stay silent about the plan and went to get their brooms and meet up at the Quidditch pitch.  
  
"How long is it gonna take those girls to get here?!" Ron groaned, as he roamed around in circles. Draco smirked and quietly rolled a snowball up. As Ron was turning around in his circles, Draco lunged one right headed for Ron's face. "BLOODY HELL!!" Ron screamed as it hit him. Draco fell laughing on the floor. Ron walked up to the rolling Draco and said, "Whatcha doing Malfoy? Making snow angels!?" and as Draco was going to answer, he got one right in his mouth. "Ughh-" he began coughing up snow and wiping his tongue. Before anything else could happen, the girls had come out. "Draggie, what are you doing? Making snow angels? Aww" Liss said as she lay down next to him and began making one. "Look it can be you and me!!" The girls rolled their eyes, and hitched their brooms and soared into the air. Ron got on his broom, and chased up after them. "C'mon Harry!!" AJ yelled. Harry had trouble getting onto his Firebolt, due to his humongous size. The poor broom could barely get off the ground, as it slowly rose into the air, it lunged down, then up, then down. The friends all looked to each other hesitantly, knowing how expensive Firebolts were; they didn't want Harry snapping his broom. "Hehe, how about we have the fight on the floor..." Brad said quickly. The girls all nodded and zoomed for the ground.  
  
The put their brooms in the Quidditch broom shed. Harry waddled slowly and put his broom away, and said, "Good idea, I didn't feel like flying today." The friends rolled their eyes.  
  
"GAWD LISSA!! GET AWAY FROM DRACO FOR JUST A SECOND MAN!!" Flem yelled. Lissa looked up and said, "Well sorry, I just wanted to spend some time with my Dragon!" She got up and rolled up a snowball and lugged it at Flemmon. Her snowball had started the fight, as it got fiercer, Oosha snuck up behind Lissa quietly, and pantzed her. "PANTZ" she yelled as she pulled her pants down and ran away. A laughing Lissa pulled up her pants as fast as she could, blushing furiously. "OOSHA!!!!" she screamed chasing her. "BAHHHHH!!!" Oosha screamed and hid behind Lena. Lena smashed a snowball down Liss' shirt. "COLD! COLD! COLD! COLD!" Lissa yelped while hopping around, trying to get it out of her shirt. "Muahahhaha" Lena let out a high pitched evil laugh. "HEY! CHUBBY CHEEKS!!" Draco screamed out at Harry. Harry turned around, and said, "Wha—OOF!" Draco had lugged a HUGE snowball right at Harry's fat protruding stomach. Harry fell back on his butt. Hermione looked at Draco and began scolding him, while the girls couldn't help but laugh, while they needed a joint effort to pull Harry back up. "Arghh, God Harry! You need to lose some weight!" Brad stressed as she tried pulling him up. Finally, they managed to get him up and decided it was time to go inside.  
  
They collected their brooms and went to their rooms and changed out of their soggy clothes into warm fuzzy sweaters and slippers. They met up in the Great Hall and sat at the same table. Since many students had left for home, they did not require sitting at their house tables. They began joking and talking while sipping on their Butterbeers and Hot Cocoa.  
  
"FLEMMON! STOP SHAKING!!! MY GOD!!!" Oosh yelled. "I can't, I'm hyper" she replied continuing to vibrate. "We really shouldn't have given her the sugar" Lissa said. Brad began jumping around doing her freaky walk, with her creepy smile and hopping towards AJ with her hands up. "AHHH!!!" AJ yelled and began to smack Brad on the head. "Bad badger! Bad badger! Bad badger!" AJ chorused. Lena had a freaky smile on her face; she had turned her back towards everyone and kept looking over her shoulder at her friends. "Hey... what the crap is Lena doing... she looks suspicious..." Ron said to Lissa. "Let's go find out" Oosha said, as she pulled Liss with her. They quietly walked up behind Lena and looked over her shoulder. She had been stroking a banana. "GAHHHHH!!!!" Lissa screamed. Oosha jumped back, with a disturbed look on her face. Lena busted out laughing and held up the banana for everyone to see and began stroking it. The girls all covered their eyes and screamed, "IT BURNS!!!!" "AHHHH!!!" and fell out of their seats. The guys raised their eyebrows and gave each other questioning looks. Draco answered the looks and said, "It's a girl thing..." The guys nodded their heads and agreed.  
  
Harry, meanwhile, pulled out a sugar quill, and began chomping and sucking away. The girls all gave knowing looks to each other, it was like they could read each other's minds.  
  
The friends decided to return to their rooms and chill there. When the girls all went to the Gryffindor dorm rooms, the first thing they said was, "Operation: Slim Fast Sugar Quills is in action." They high fived each other and went about doing their business. They laid down on the beds and began to chill. They read, painted their nails, talked, listened to music, ate chocolate and candies, and checked out their gifts. "How long is it going to take Harry to slim down to normal?" Phlegm asked Mione. "It depends how fast he eats them all, the amount I gave him is enough to get him back to normal." Hermione replied. "At the rate he's going, it probably won't take long." Brad said. "And I thought Dudley was fat..." Oosha stated. AJ had still been reading the book she gave Harry. "Maybe we can send this to Dudley after Harry is back to normal." She said lifting up the book. The girls laughed. It was eight o'clock by then.  
  
The girls all went down for their dinner in the Great Hall and filled their tum-tums to the brim, Harry had even had more servings than Lissa, which says a lot. The food had made them all drowsy and they stumbled back to their rooms, and fell asleep.  
  
[A/N: EVEN THOUGH I LEFT OUR GAY SKOOL IM STILL CONTINUING THE STORY!! WHEEEE!!! Everyone should beh jumping with joy, now that I'm posting them on fanfiction, XD YAAAAAAAAAY!!! Yes, I know, you all love me, mhmm, yeh lol have fun!! and review!! Luv y'all! Oosha] 


End file.
